Too hot for Uncle John's
Bathroom Reader!
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader is pretty fearless about
dishing the dirt on the great and good, and we were happy to
help. We provided the footers for
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges Into History
and wrote an article on the career paths of Nazis. But one
item was too hot even for Uncle John, namely a piece on the
really weird kinks in the life and career of Mohandas
Gandhi. Some heroes, I guess, are above dethroning, even in
a bathroom reader. However, just because the item scared
Uncle John, it doesn't mean you can't read it. And so, in
all its uncensored glory ...
MAHATMA GANDHI: SAINT, HERO, WEIRDO
Yes, Mohandas K. Gandhi was one of the greatest heroes
of the twentieth century. Yes, he shamed Britain into giving
up the jewel of its empire. Yes, his life story made for a
kicking movie. But Gandhi was also one very strange unit.
Gandhi the part-time pacifist
Although Gandhi became famous for his pacifism, his
beliefs here evolved considerably over the years. In fact,
until the British massacred hundreds of peaceful Indians at
Amritsar, Gandhi was such a faithful British subject that he
served in the imperial army.
In the Boer War, Gandhi led the Natal Indian Ambulance
Corps and, in one of those weird coincidences, was one of
the three future world leaders at the Battle of Spioenkop,
along with Winston Churchill and Louis Botha. For his good
work, Gandhi eventually won the War Medal and was promoted
to sergeant major.
Gandhi also volunteered to serve in World War I, one of
the few Indian activists to support England unconditionally.
A bad case of pleurisy prevented him from serving, and in
fact forced him to leave England and return to India.
Gandhi and World War II
Gandhi never quite seemed to realize that the
non-violence he urged against the British would have failed
horribly if applied to the Nazis. He urged the British to
surrender, and suggested that the Czechs and even the Jews
would have been better off committing heroic mass suicide.
Even as late as June 1946, when the extent of the
Holocaust had emerged, Gandhi told biographer Louis Fisher:
"The Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's
knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from
cliffs."
As the Japanese advanced into Burma (now called Myanmar),
there was a real possibility of an Axis invasion of India.
Gandhi thought it was best to let the Japanese take as much
of India as they wanted, and that the best way to resist
would be to "make them feel unwanted."
(In fact, the Axis was helping a buddy of Gandhi's to
raise an army of Indians that would have seized the country
from the Brits, but that's another story.)
Gandhi's funny sex ideas
When Gandhi was 16, he was having sex with his wife at
the very moment his father died. The trauma seems to have
led him to develop some odd ideas about sex. He thought
married couples should only have sex three or four times ...
in total. In fact, Gandhi credited his spiritual powers to
his ability to avoid ejaculation, and one morning he flipped
out on discovering that he'd had a nocturnal emission.
Gandhi also had an unusual way of testing his celibacy.
As an old man, he would ask the local hotties to spend the
night lying naked beside him. His wife was no longer
temptation enough, apparently, and he described her as
looking like a "meek cow."
Gandhi, family man
Gandhi's opposition to modern technology, including
modern medicine, took odds turns. He didn't want his wife to
take life-saving penicillin, because it would be
administered with a hypodermic needle. He did, however,
allow himself to be treated with quinine and even to be
operated on for appendicitis.
He refused to allow his sons to get a formal education,
and also tried to force his oddball sexual ideas on them. He
so disapproved of the wife of his eldest son that the
Mahatma disowned him. This son broke from the family and
became an alcoholic. In rebellion against everything his
father stood for, Harilal Gandhi even announced at one point
that he had converted to Islam.
The Mahatma also had trouble with his second son, Manilal,
who had an affair with a married woman. Dad made the matter
a public scandal and pushed the woman involved to shave her
head. Manilal was also briefly exiled from the family for
lending money to fellow black sheep Harilal.
Gandhi and the bathroom
In the movie, Gandhi is seen fighting with his wife over
her refusal to clean the latrine in the ashram.
This just scratches the surface of the one of the
strangest elements of the Mahatma's makeup ... a fixation on
bodily excretions that he pushed whenever he could on his
family and disciples.
Gandhi seemed to be almost as interested in Indian
sanitation as he was in Indian freedom. At his ashram, he
designed latrines and ran latrine drills. "The bathroom is a
temple," he once said. "It should be so clean and inviting
that anyone would enjoy eating there."
Gandhi also took a great deal of interest in the bowel
movements of his friends, and life at the ashram was marked
by daily enemas. He also experimented with diet, to see what
effect different types of food had on excretions.
Weirdest of all, it seems he also made a habit of
drinking his own urine.
Sources:
·Legends, Lies & Cherished Myths of World History by
Richard Shenkman
·"The Gandhi Nobody Knows" by Grenier (Commentary, March
1983)
·http://www.mkgandhi.org/articles/boer_war.htm for name
of Natal Ambulance Corps
·http://www.kzn-deat.gov.za/tourism/battlefields/conflict/spioenkop.htm
for Spioenkop, verified at http://www.classicafrica.com/portfolio/threetreehill.htm
·http://www.progress.org/gandhi/gandhi08.htm and http://www.mkgandhi.org/biography/wrldwar1.htm
for Indian attitudes on World War I
·The rebel in the Gandhi family, The Hindustan Times,
July 19, 1998; verified at http://www.discovery.com/stories/history/messy/messy3a.html
·http://www.tristagenova.com/humour/gandhi.htm
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